Starstruck: Your August Horoscope
Bergdorf Goodman is proud to introduce our monthly series with designing and astrology duo Amy Zerner and Monte Farber.
Scroll down for your horoscope & for more information about Amy’s astrology pendants on 5F!
ARIES: March 21 – April 19
Serfs up! Arise and shine up your woody because you got company incoming and it’s friendly. Fire up what broke down somewhere on the serf route your pal tried to make you take. The only hitch will be if you get bored till your back teeth are floating from listening to what’s been ebbing and flowing since last time.
TAURUS: April 20 – May 20
Fore! Use your eagle eyes and look out for a diamond in the rough. Par for discourse with this birdie requires a scorecard and a pencil with a big eraser. Chip away at the cheap shots and iron out your differences for this under-par bogey knows all the right clubs and balls and can improve your score.
GEMINI: May 21 – June 20
Play ball! It’s time out from sand, lots of sand, and time in at the owner’s punch-clock. Someone hit a homer and you’re the designated runner, so run home to the home team and get it on base before they strike out. Take meows to the bald-faced game going on with a grain of salt. No mo’ work’s fine – after you’ve dug out.
CANCER: June 21 – July 23
And they’re off! Their rockers, that is. Your horsey friends are jockeying to get the inside rail against that lovely bit of thoroughbred flesh you’ve been running with lately. They act like parrots mutually betting on who’s riding who. It’ll stop when the photo-finisher sends you the positives with you in the winner’s circle.
LEO: July 23 – August 22
No pain, no pain! How much weight does await chucking off of your heart before the big burn stops? The bar-belles are too light and the iron-men are too heavy to bear. Mr. Universe has something good in store for you – the gym store. Push up your mouth into a smile and pull up to where you can work it out and hard.
VIRGO: August 23 – September 22
Stroke! Of luck, that is. Being in the swim of things is fine but the “us” trail you been crawling on has put you in the fast lane to the gold. Put that old impish pool shark technique on the back-stroke. You’re greased and ready to swim the channel, so change the channel on all of those old habits that should be deep-sixed.
LIBRA: September 23 – October 22
Game, set, match! Accept the backhanded compliments„„that’s all those base lie-mongerers are capable of hitting back at you. Your net gain of points-by-the-double is your only fault and that’s making their cool spins come unstrung in short order. The judges have their eye on the ball and it’s you they love to serve.
SCORPIO: October 23 – November 21
Let’s get ready to rumble! You’ve boxed yourself into your corner of the world for too many rounds of duck-and-weave. Puttering around house cleaning is making you feisty, like you mean it. Even if you’ve a gorgeous form, men may treat you like a punching bag unless you renounce that title now. Time for some road work.
SAGITTARIUS: November 22 – December 21
Hike! As in “Take a…” A snap decision? A full backwards advance is a retreat and you can’t just punt so why not go offside for as long as you can? There’s no penalty in delaying this game. First down a few vitamin C’s to help you handle the stress, and then go sit on the bench until they remember why you’re not in the game.
CAPRICORN: December 22 – January 19
Extreme games! Everybody’s going wild. You’re going to have to become an ex-spectator. It’s even quite dangerous to look before you leap now. Bung “G”, jump on him, if you have to. Throw him and the other scary monsters out of your life. They’ll have you over a barrel until you get over your falls from grace.
AQUARIUS: January 20 – February 18
Gentlewo/men, start your engines! Rich are petty? Poor new man. They’ll hunger no more, for they left rubber-room jealousy behind to earn their victory lap. God/dess in those details, the God/dess of good luck. The flag’s checkered, like your past. Qualify in record time. Win the race and put the medal on your lapel.
PISCES: February 19 – March 20
Foul! There’s a full court pressing on you now. Though you’d gladly be traveling in twenty seconds if they put the ball in your court, you can’t and they won’t, at least for a while. Next month will be a slam dunk, so once you get in the air, pass up the coach and live like the big folks do in first class. No tour buses for you.
Amy’s Astrology Pendants are available on 5F
For more details, call 212 872 8901
© Amy Zerner & Monte Farber
Amy Zerner’s couture fashions are sold exclusively at Bergdorf Goodman, along with her astrology and spiritual symbol jewelry on 5F. She is the creator, with her psychic husband, author Monte Farber of many popular, best-selling astrology and tarot books and oracles.
Her website is www.AmyZerner.com