Starstruck: Your August Horoscope

Amy Zerner & Monte Farber present your August horoscope!

8 1 2011

8 1 11

Bergdorf Goodman is proud to introduce our monthly series with designing and astrology duo Amy Zerner and Monte Farber.

Scroll down for your horoscope & for more information about Amy’s astrology pendants on 5F!

VIRGO: August 23 -September 22
It’s time to take your show on the road to more acknowledgment. You’ve been playing to a hometown audience too long.  Let’s see how your act plays in a room where you’re not so well known and no one has to be nice.  Channel aggressions into making your feelings known and you might meet an older champion.

 

LIBRA: September 23 – October 22
There’s no business like showing business people you have got what it takes and this is the week when strutting your stuff can bring maximum returns of heads and hearts. An ethereal merman or mermaid might take an extra bow into your life so any way you can, get your squirt gun going and fill the pool quick.

 

SCORPIO: October 23 – November 21
You may have to say See you in September to a winsome summer thoroughbred.  Here you are saying goodbye as the stations switch to summer reruns, but circumstances beyond controlling seem to be taking you away.  Have a good time but buy, baby, buy, buy a fare-thee-well going away present of a lifetime.

SAGITTARIUS: November 22 – December 21
Though you may pride yourself as a successful independent producer, now is the time to take advantage of a major studio’s systematic efforts to benefit you universally.  Warn a brother’s friend not to drive that MG emphatically. Take it for a spin and tonic water meeting and sell ‘em, whether they call ‘em B or A pictures.

 

CAPRICORN: December 22 – January 19
Boy meets girl.  Boy loses girl.  You thought you knew the third third, only this time it’s the girl who’s writing the script and the plot thickened faster than a leftover pot of soup at Ridgemont High lunchroom. Sell Ma’s hand-loomed easy chair and spend it all on a new pretty, for who reads in this town without pity?

 

AQUARIUS: January 20 – February 18
Psychological screams are normal Batesian instincts at the place you find yourself now.  Hot elbows to more ribs than you thought you had, make it impossible for you to be home alone.  Far and away your best bet is to spend time with the sun-god Apollo thirteen hours a day and avoid slipping on the crimson tide.

PISCES: February 19 – March 20
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, here comes the old man, and the sequel to a rumor that seemed dead, again.  Find someone to watch over you.  It will take a rambunctious ex-terminator to get you out of harm’s way, i.e., the dreaded judgment of the jaws of these bad girls.

ARIES: March 21 – April 19
You’re too caught up in financial matters now, living the blues low down and dirty like Mississippi delta mud.  Baby, please don’t go and waste your time on someone else’s value system.  Just stick out your can and throw those bills right in.  They’ll be a progression next week and you’ll be rollin’ and tumblin’ in cash.

TAURUS: April 20 – May 20
This week bounteous pleasures are rushing to you out of the golden Horn of Plenty with the force of the cannons of the 1812 Overture.  Try coughing up some rubles and take your whole circle of Cossacks dancing to preserve your people’s ability to celebrate your good fortune. Afterwards, it’s cappuccino Italien.

GEMINI: May 21 – June 20
You won’t be able to be as mobile as you would like to be this week so try to be burrowed in with romantic nocturnes, for the strings of your heart will play sadly if you feel too alone.  Shopping will help but not an eternity of major loneliness end, so order out and vocalize over the phone how much you miss everybody, if you do.

CANCER: June 21 – July 23
It’s time to find out what being a super-freak is all about.  Rich games may land you in a prison of your own making, so experiment carefully, shaking your booty at those you wish to share it with and seeing who bites.  When you came home last night, you didn’t really give what you got to anyone.  This week, you will.

LEO: July 23 – August 22
You may feel like you are flying on automatic pilot this week, as in “strictly instrumental.”  No talking, no pointing, no notes or other words on paper.  Try sending out your message telepathically and you’ll hear the beautiful music that’s always in your head but which you never seem to find the time to listen to.

Amy’s Astrology Pendants are available on 5F
For more details, call 212 872 8901

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© Amy Zerner & Monte Farber

Amy Zerner’s couture fashions are sold exclusively at Bergdorf Goodman, along with her astrology and spiritual symbol jewelry on 5F. She is the creator, with her psychic husband, author Monte Farber, of many popular, best-selling astrology and tarot books and oracles. Her website is www.AmyZerner.com.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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